It’s no secret that phone use can be a major source of contention in relationships. If you’re someone who is constantly on your phone, or if you tend to be glued to social media, it can be easy to lose sight of what’s happening in the real world around you. And, unfortunately, that can spell trouble for your relationship.
If you’re not careful, your phone use can easily become a source of conflict in your relationship. It can be tempting, even addictive to tune out your partner in favor of your phone, but that’s not fair to them.
By constantly being on your phone, you’re sending your partner the message that you’re more stimulated by what’s happening on your screen than in what’s happening with your partner. And that’s not a good way to maintain or build a healthy relationship.
What is Phubbing?
Phubbing is the act of snubbing someone in favor of your phone. It’s a combination of the words “phone” and “snubbing.”
Phubbing can take many forms. For example, you might be phubbing if you:
- Ignore someone in favor of your phone
- Check your phone while talking to someone
- Use your phone in a way that interrupts or distracts from a conversation or activity you’re sharing with someone else
- Are more interested in your phone than the person you’re with
- Give someone half of your attention while using your phone
Phubbing damages relationships. It makes the person you’re phubbing feel unimportant, ignored, and invisible. If you’re regularly phubbing someone, it might be time to reassess whether you’re ready to be in this relationship.
According to Professor James A. Roberts, Ph.D. of Baylor University’s Hankamer School of Business., who with two other colleagues surveyed people on phubbing, “What we discovered was that when someone perceived that their partner phubbed (sic) them, this created conflict and led to lower levels of reported relationship satisfaction. These lower levels of relationship satisfaction, in turn, led to lower levels of life satisfaction and, ultimately, higher levels of depression.”
Are You Stalking Old Partners?
It’s no secret that social media has made it easier than ever to keep tabs on our exes. But what does it mean, exactly, to “online stalk” an ex?
Essentially, online stalking is any behavior that involves obsessively monitoring someone’s online activity. This can include things like checking their social media profiles multiple times a day, logging into their email or social media accounts to snoop, or even setting up Google alerts for their name.
For some people, online stalking is simply a way to stay connected to someone they still care about. For others, it can be a form of virtual harassment or even cyberbullying. Unfortunately, it’s not only unhealthy for you, but it also damages your new current relationship. If you find yourself regularly checking up on your ex’s online activity, it might be a good idea to take a step back and ask yourself why you’re doing it. If you’re feeling obsessive or like you’re crossing boundaries, it might be time to seek help from a professional.
Do You Check Your Phone Too Much – Are You Responding To Every Alert?
Checking your phone during intimate moments or difficult discussions is a way to avoid what’s happening in the present moment. It’s a way to distract yourself or self-soothe when you are uncomfortable. But it also communicates a negative message to your partner.
Do you find yourself checking your phone all the time, even when you’re with your partner? This can be a major turn-off for them, and it can make it seem like you’re not really present in the relationship. If you can’t seem to put your phone down, it might be time to reevaluate your true feelings about being in a relationship. It could also imply that your brain is becoming addicted to the dopamine releases that come with the pings of alerts and notifications.
Dates are meant to be a time for you to focus on your partner and get to know them better. However, if you’re constantly on your phone, it sends the message that you’d rather be somewhere else. Put your phone away and make an effort to engage in conversations with your date.
If you’re so focused on your phone that you tune out your partner when they’re trying to talk to you, it can be the beginning of a major issue in the relationship. Make an effort to put your phone down and give your partner your full attention when they’re trying to talk to you.
Whether you’re discussing serious topics or just sharing stories from your day, it’s important to be present during these conversations. If you’re constantly on your phone, it sends the message that you’re not interested in what your partner has to say. Make an effort to put your phone away and give them your full attention.
Your phone can have a major impact on your mood, and if you’re in a bad mood, it can be tough to be present in the relationship. If you find yourself getting angry or frustrated when you’re with your partner, try to take a step back and put your phone away as this could be a sign that your brain is experiencing a dopamine withdrawal. This will help you to calm down and focus on the relationship.
It’s important to remember that your partner is not your phone. While it’s great to stay connected with friends and family, it’s important to make time for your partner as well. If you’re constantly on your phone, it can make it seem like you care more about your device than you do about them.
What can you do to break the cycle of phone addiction and keep your relationship strong?
First, try to be more aware of how much time you’re spending on your phone. If you’re finding that you’re constantly checking it throughout the day, try to cut back. Make a conscious effort to put your phone away and focus on your partner instead. It’s not always easy, but it’s important to find a balance. Remember, your phone is a device not a companion.
Second, be more present when you are with your partner. When you’re together, make an effort to engage in conversation and put your phone away. This can be a challenge, but it’s important to remember that your partner deserves your attention.
Finally, make sure to schedule quality time together without phones. This can be tough, but it’s important to have time where you’re both focused on each other and not on your screens. Whether it’s going for a walk, cooking dinner together, or just sitting and talking, make sure to carve out time for quality connection.